So, it may feel like a victimless crime to “get creative” with your insurance paperwork. It’s estimated that 35 million Americans have lied to their insurance company at one point in their life. Almost one in three have lied on their auto insurance, and another 22% regularly lie to health insurers. It’s entirely understandable, though. Insurance fraud wouldn’t be so prevalent if people didn’t consistently get away with it. And people wouldn’t get away with it so often if insurance companies weren’t already overwhelmed by fraud cases.

And what about the insurance companies? They cry and moan about the cost of fraud – but the reality is: they can afford it. They know they don’t have to catch everyone to make their bottom line. Fraud is anticipated. It actually happens, and is reliably predicted every year. It’s already been priced into their models. “Fraud rose by 11% last year? Better hike the premiums, otherwise C-suite won’t get their ninth-straight year of record-breaking bonus checks.”

It’s hard to have sympathy for anyone here… But the point is, insurance companies aren’t the victim. You are. You always are.

When a fraudster gets a payout, that’s less money the company has to pay out your legitimate claim. And if you decide to defraud your insurer, count on never sleeping well again. Lying on a claim or application is like having a loaded gun permanently aimed at your foot. The statute of limitations for fraud prosecution usually extends six to ten years after the crime was committed. So if, at any point during that time, you get caught? You’re absolutely screwed. Like, “life is now permanently harder for you” screwed.

For one: depending on the severity of the fraud attempt, your premium could triple in size. That is, if they even let you keep the policy after what happened. If the “fraud” could be construed as an “honest mistake” – say, your assistant did the paperwork and testified their negligence – you might get to keep the original policy at a higher rate.

But if your actions fit the classic “steal and conceal” definition of fraud? You’re going to court, and you’re going to lose. For the rest of your life, you’ll struggle to find an insurer who’ll touch you with a thirty-foot pole.

Insurance fraudsters never seem to realize the irony. There’s nobody better at detecting and punishing fraud than the very people they’re trying to rip off. It’s just that, long ago, insurance companies realized fraud was inevitable, impossible to prevent. So, it became a simple matter of calculation: To stay in business, don’t spend dollars recovering dimes.

And that’s the only reason anyone gets away with it. If you do – you’ve taken a risk so severe, beaten odds so slim: you almost deserve the money.

Unfortunately, most people who attempt insurance fraud have zero experience in either, uh, “industry.” False insurance claims are often a fraudster’s debut; poorly-concealed, transparently amateurish attempts to snag a payout. They’re almost always shocked when they get caught. Many of these criminal debutants ultimately aren’t even charged with fraud because their attempt to conceal the illegal activity was so unsophisticated – any reasonable person could’ve noticed, and the legal definition of fraud doesn’t apply.

But even if you’re not officially charged with fraud, the company has hard evidence showing you tried it once. Statistically, you’re very likely to try it again. And they’re all too happy to share that information with other insurers, effectively branding you for life. In a world where certain forms of insurance, like auto and homeowners, are mandatory: that can make for a disastrously expensive existence.

Getting caught for insurance fraud invariably means enormous financial penalties, jail time, likely, depending on your state of residence, and the impossibility of you ever finding insurance again.

Don’t even think about it.